Promises

I have been posting a lot on Facebook with minimal updates on Lily because we have been getting minimal updates on our end too. We have been called into a season of waiting.

I've already written about how I feel like I am being pulled back in time almost. I am feeling a lot of the same things I did when I was pregnant and waiting for Lily's arrival.

As we step into this season of waiting and unanswered questions, I think it has moved my heart a little different than when I was pregnant. I feel as though Jesus is helping me to be level headed, gracious, understanding, and patient all while being an advocate for my daughter. If you know me, then you know that I can be hot headed and quick to respond. What we have been handed has given me the opportunity to listen and respond calmly.

G A L A T I O N S 5: 1 3 - 2 6

I wrote most of this while we were in the hospital but while reading it before sharing, I have realized that Jesus is helping me to grow in the fruits of the Spirit. Since being home, I have had the fruits of the spirit come along my social media more than usual. As much as social media can be used as a distraction by the enemy, I also think it can bring us into prayer. Jesus sends us things we need on our timelines every now and then if we are looking. I have been being more intentional when listening to Jesus talk to me. So after seeing post after post about the fruits, I searched in scripture for the versus where they are talked about. It made me realize that I struggle with many works of the flesh: hatreds, outbursts of fury, selfishness, dissensions, envy. These past few weeks Jesus has been giving me the opportunity to grow in joy, love, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness and gentleness. While diving more into this passage, I have been sitting in the knowledge that our God is a gentle God. He used my current circumstance to help me grow without me even knowing it.

I could never understand how people so freely bent to the will of Jesus. I now know that it isn't done so easily. Our family had to be given this cross that we could not carry on our own. Not only have we had to fully bend to Jesus' will, but we have also had to let people in. This is something Q and I both struggle with, so as you can imagine this has rocked our world.

After having Lily, I felt like Jesus was calling me to share the music we pray with and have prayed with during different seasons of life. I brushed it off and eventually closed myself off to any form of prayer until I was faced with helplessness. I didn't want to only share updates of what was going on with others but how we were making it through. We are able to move forward because we are leaning on Jesus. Not only did I feel called to share how we are making it through, but also what songs we were praying and explaining how we were praying with them.

So as I am setting everything up to write and give Jesus my yes, I am listening to the song "Promises."

"Time and time again, you have proven, you'll do just what you said. Though the storms may come and the winds may blow, I'll remain steadfast. And let my heart learn that when you speak a word, it will come to pass. Great is your faithfulness to me."

There have been so many times the Lord has spoken to me during pregnancy and during the last few week that has reminded me he truly does keep his promises. The anxiety I feel is the world creeping in, telling me to worry, but he sits next to me and holds me in peace.

I pray that if you are in a season of waiting or you are anxious about what Jesus has in store for you, that you let Jesus in. Let Him in to hold you in peace. He is faithful to us. His word always come to pass.

"Your history can prove that there's nothing you can't do"

This line makes me think of the first time I truly had no doubt that Jesus was speaking to me. I was at the doctors for my monthly echo and ultrasound with Lily. I remember we had been praying for a miracle along with the whole town of Thibodaux. I just remember being mesmerized by the ultrasound because we could visibly see there was something wrong with Lily's anatomy. In that moment I asked Jesus, "How can I believe that there will be a miracle when I can plainly see that something is wrong?" Jesus' response has stuck with me and still brings me to tears when I talk about it. He responded immediately to my question, "Can I not raise the dead?"

His testimony and His history has proven that there is truly nothing he can't do.

I pray that you keep this confidence whenever you are praying for a miracle. I also pray that even if Jesus does not perform the miracle you were hoping for, that you know he is still showing up for you. I know how hard that can be first hand, but had Lily been born with a completely normal anatomy, we would not be where we are today. I pray that you look for the small positives in all situations.

Jesus' plan for us is FAR better than what we plan out ourselves.